6 Tips to Help Kids Make Decisions

Want your kids to become better decision-makers? Here's how:

1. Give manageable choices
2. Teach option analysis
3. Model good decisions
4. Help set achievable goals
5. Allow learning from mistakes
6. Use decision games

Why it matters:

• Builds independence
• Develops critical thinking
• Boosts confidence
• Reduces anxiety

Key strategies:

• Start simple for young kids
• Increase complexity as they grow
• Discuss your own decision process
• Let kids make (and learn from) mistakes

Learning to make choices takes time. Be patient as your child develops this crucial skill.

Age	Types of Decisions
2-3	Simple choices (e.g., which shirt to wear)
4-5	Daily routine decisions (e.g., bedtime book)
6-8	More complex choices (e.g., spending allowance)
9-11	Increased responsibility (e.g., homework schedule)
12+	Gradual involvement in bigger decisions (e.g., activities)

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1. Give Kids Choices They Can Handle

Start by offering choices kids can manage. This builds confidence over time.

Adjust options based on age:

• Toddlers (2-3): Two simple choices. "Striped shirt or orange shirt?"
• Preschoolers (3-5): Slightly more complex. "One more slide or one more swing?"
• School-age (6-12): More significant decisions. "Soccer team or art classes?"

Avoid overwhelming:

• Stick to 2-3 options
• Ensure all options are acceptable
• Keep choices simple and clear

"The type of choice that empowers children but does not overwhelm them can be great." - Christine Carrig, M.S.Ed

2. Help Kids Think Things Through

Teach kids to weigh options and consider outcomes:

Compare pros and cons:

• List good and bad points for each option
• Think about short-term and long-term effects
• Use simple questions like "What's good about this?"

Consider consequences:

• Play "What if?" to explore outcomes
• Discuss past decisions and results
• Think about how choices affect others

Ask questions like:

• What decision do you need to make?
• What are your options?
• How will this impact others?

"Start teaching your young child how to make decisions by giving them two options, both of which you are okay with them selecting." - Grace Berman, LCSW

3. Show How to Make Good Choices

Model decision-making for your kids:

Talk through your choices:

• Explain your thinking when making decisions
• Give examples: "I'm picking an apple because it's healthy"

Share successes and mistakes:

• Discuss times when choices led to good outcomes
• Be open about when things didn't go as planned

"It's really important to include kids in those conversations because you're modeling a lot of really great skills." - Rachel Busman, PsyD

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4. Help Kids Set Goals

Setting goals helps kids make better choices:

Make clear, doable goals:

• Start small with fun, short-term goals
• Use SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound
• Break big goals into smaller steps

Match choices to goals:

Goal	Supports Goal	Doesn't Support Goal
Read 5 dinosaur books	Visit library	Watch TV instead
Learn to ride a bike	Practice with training wheels	Avoid bike practice
Improve math grades	Do extra math problems	Skip homework

"Little goals are the best way to get kids moving toward big goals." - Jim Wiltens

5. Let Kids Learn from Mistakes

Allow children to experience consequences:

Help when things go wrong:

• Stay calm and supportive
• Avoid saying "I told you so"
• Help process emotions

Think about what happened:

• What led to this choice?
• How did it turn out?
• What would you do differently?

6. Play Decision-Making Games

Games help kids practice making choices:

Game	Age	How It Helps
Go Fish	4+	Sharpens memory, introduces strategy
Connect Four	6+	Teaches thinking ahead
Mancala	6+	Improves planning skills
Ticket to Ride: First Journey	6+	Focuses on strategic planning
Catan Junior	6+	Teaches resource management

Other helpful games:

• Musical Chairs: Quick decisions
• Tic Tac Toe: Simple strategy
• Ant or Elephant: Explaining choices

To get the most out of games:

• Talk about choices made during play
• Ask why they made certain moves
• Discuss outcomes of those choices

Common Questions

When kids can't decide:

• Give two options to avoid overwhelm
• Allow extra time
• Help them calm down if anxious

For big decisions like school selection:

• Ask kids to create their own criteria
• Compare their criteria with yours
• Stay involved in the process

When to let kids decide depends on age and maturity. Use the age guide from earlier as a reference.

To guide without deciding:

• Model your process out loud
• Ask "What might happen if you do this?"
• Include kids in family discussions

Wrap-Up

Key points:

• Start early with simple choices
• Increase complexity as kids grow
• Show your decision process
• Let them learn from mistakes
• Use everyday moments for practice

Be patient as your child develops this skill.

"It's really important to include kids in those conversations because you're modeling a lot of really great skills." - Rachel Busman, PsyD